Not Embracing Community: The Disconnect Between Young and Old
This stems from the thought that the church is a building and nothing more. You go to church for praising God, listening to the pastor or minister’s sermon, the food (which is delicious because the ladies and gentlemen have had years of practice), and talking (of course). You may be thinking to yourself, yes, yes, and yes. What, then is the point of church?
It’s about the people. YOUNG, OLD, AND IN BETWEEN. Praising and serving God by serving one another.
One of the saddest experiences that I’ve ever had occurred because of this very reason: lack of community. This was not to say that there were a shortage of people or that the pastor was not hospitable. Rather, there was an unwillingness by individuals to do things that may have been uncomfortable. Let me set the stage. Right after graduating high school I started a job at a Nursing Home. It was here that I recognized an elderly lady that lived here from the community, let’s call her Ava. One day, when I was talking with Ava, she said to me, “I go to such-and-such church, but they never visit. They never come to see me or talk to me.” This single interaction changed my view of community in church forever. I became very angry and I said to her, “I go to a different church, but I want to tell you that I don’t believe in living like that. I’m here. If you ever need anything, or want to talk I am here.”
How sad is that? The very people that she thought were her supportive Christian Community were the exact opposite. UnChristian-like and unsupportive. Maybe some from that church did visit her, and I apologize to those people that did in that case. But from my point of view, the church was not doing a good job in serving the elderly members.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've recently come to the conclusion that it takes a village to raise a child. This is not only because I’ve become an expert (I took Anthropology 100) but also because I have come to develop opinions about the “village” mentality. (This therefore makes my stance and thoughts credible, right?) Other cultures, such as China believe in a “village” or collective approach to raising a child, as opposed to the United States has more come to an individualistic approach to family and children. Within Chinese culture, there is “...the importance of the family or kinship groups, respect for elders, obligations toward friends and relatives...” Even within the United States there is the example of The Amish. “They seem to live in a small collectivistic culture surrounded by an individualistic country.” America itself is a very individualistic society economically and socially.
I think that in this way, America is at a bit of a disadvantage. Think about it. Within Chinese culture, it is normal for grandparents to live with their adult children and grandchildren. While the parents are at work, the grandparents are home to take care of their grandchildren. Meanwhile, here in America, parents drop their kids and elderly parents off at childcare and nursing homes.
We are too busy, fast-paced, and developed to deal with the messiness of the very young and the very old. Our culture caters to the middle group, and if you don’t fit into that group you are not really considered a person. You are swept under a rug for other people to take care of and deal with while the middle group is at work making money to pay all of these expenses.
This brings me to my next point about millenials (Ugh, I hate this word) and young adults. There is such a disconnect and separation between each generation. Maybe you have been wondering why I haven’t been using the terms “Millennials” or “Generation Z” or “Generation X”. This is because I believe these terms to be toxic in the fact that they separate people into fancy, pretentious generational terms. Just say young, middle or old for heaven’s sake. But anyways, these fancy terms have a way of wedging the communication zone father and farther apart instead of closer together.
One way that I have seen this very instance be resolved is having an older brotherly or sisterly figure hang out with the youth. (If they are college age, they should fill out a background check and volunteer form to make sure they are able, capable and appropriate to work with children.)
At my church, I am that sisterly person. I’m not quite an “old adult” with a house and family but I’m not a “young kid” with no experience. I’m a sort of middleman acting as a bridge between the younger and the older generations. I understand the lingo and cultural references of the young folks but also the frustrations and concerns of the older folks and parents.
One good example of bridging this gap was when a middle school girl came up to me and told me that a group of girls in her grade were doing drugs. She was sad, angry and confused as to what she should do. Her and some of her friends were going to go to the office the next day to tell the principle. She had not told her mom anything yet, but she had trusted and confided in me. I was able to encourage her to tell her mom what was going on, and tell her that she and her friends were doing the right thing.
This sort of position is not considered “cool”, I understand. Hanging out with middle schoolers and high schoolers maybe isn’t for everyone. For me, I feel that my calling currently is to act as the middleman between these two generations to make sure that they interact smoothly and help understand one another.
Not many people my age (I’m 20) realize that we have this responsibility, which I think is unfortunate. Young adults today are more concerned about how many likes and selfies they have on social media than actually talking to different people besides their own age. For a while this was me too, so don’t think I’m not just as guilty. We tend to do things that we are comfortable with, and sticking with our own age group is one of them. This is a call to people my age. Young adults. Wake up. Get off Instagram, Snapchat, and Tinder and start talking to people in real life. Stop loving yourselves and show the love of God to others. Bridge the gap.
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