DISCLAIMER: Take what you will from the following experiences and opinions that I have come to develop to draw your own conclusions. Names, events, and dates may have been changed to protect the individuals referred to within this piece.
I have noticed that there seems to be a disconnect between the modern Church, youth and, well, society in general. This is not to blame on one age group or group of people, although we all like to point fingers at each other. It’s the fault of everyone. Here are some of the main problems that I have seen and experienced in the modern church today and maybe some ideas of how we can fix them.
Not talking about sex, drugs and alcohol. (From a Godly perspective)
As Older Christians, we have a tendency to tiptoe around the birds and the bees talk with young people. It’s a taboo. We embrace living in the ignorance and comfort of the phrase, “God intended sex for marriage” and we like to leave it at that. We chastise and condemn or altogether ignore those that have committed sexual sin. Now, is that right? Do we, as the Body of Christ have the ability, knowledge, and resources to help those that are struggling with these past or present sins?
Of course we can refer to scripture like in 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” But this is simply just laying down the law to the person. This isn’t showing them the love of Jesus or the grace that He has bestowed to all people. Some older members of the church have a tendency to lay down the law and are very good at knowing where the verses are- like the ones that instruct us to repent of past sins. But there again, if there is no relationship that has been developed between the younger, rebellious age group and the older, law and justice age, then why should either side listen?
What I’m sort of proposing here is a Sex-Education class for kids and their parents - except through church. This idea isn’t necessarily the end-all-be-all, but it is just an idea to try and help fix this present issue, if parents are unsure how to equip their kids for the real world, or need help finding reliable resources. This is the thing, too. It’s up to the parents. Parents have left it up to the Public School system to teach their kids about sex and “safe sex practices”.
As someone who has come from two generations of teachers, going through the Public School System, and going to college to be a teacher myself, I realize that Public Education’s view of sex, and God’s view of sex do not line up. I (luckily and thankfully) had parents that were committed to teaching and instructing me through the lens of a Godly perspective to then see a worldly perspective about sex. Not everyone has this sort of training, and it wasn’t until I grew up and started talking to other people did I wake up and realize how lucky I was. Even if someone grows up in a Christian home, they may not know that certain sexual acts are wrong. This can lead to years of guilt, heartbreak, needless worry, running from the truth and trouble.
As the middle and older generations, we have a responsibility to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) We as the Body of Christ should be teaching and instructing our children in they way they should live and conduct themselves. If we ignore this responsibility and turn a blind eye because it’s uncomfortable or taboo, we will hurt not only ourselves but them as well.
How are kids supposed to know if we don’t tell them? Because it’s embarrassing and shameful? Within marriage, sex is not a shameful act. God created it. However, when sex is done outside of God’s intention of marriage it can get tricky. Christian kids should know and understand that their actions have consequences.
I also want to clarify that I don’t think that this should be the forefront of church. Sex shouldn’t be a topic that is constantly talked about at church because that is NOT appropriate. What I am saying is that there is a time and a place for talking about these sorts of things and we do a disservice to the youth if we don’t put our uncomfortable feelings aside to train them up according to God’s Word. This is why a Church Sex-Education class may be appropriate for certain churches with tweenagers and teenagers and their parents as well as the appropriate person to teach such a class.
Drugs and alcohol are also a taboo topics within church. People are not open about their addictions because they feel that they would be judged by the “holier than thou” Christians. This may also be because they have not had the opportunity to create a trusting relationship (which goes hand-in-hand with number four: Not Embracing Community) with those in that church community. I’m not saying that everyone in the entire church should know that so-and-so has a porn addiction or a different so-and-so has a dependency on pills and alcohol. What I’m saying is that these people need to trust someone within the church so that if they decide to recognize their destructive path, they have someone they trust that they can turn to when they are ready. Maybe this person is the pastor. Maybe this person is an elder in the church. Maybe it’s a parent. These connections need to be made so that the heart of the issue can be resolved.
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